it's hard to write when you have a numb heart. but i will try. 

i live in the space between white and black. i live in the grey shadows. in the city shadows and alleys. the grey alleys. with an acoustic guitar in the background,i walk through walls and jump the roofs. living in my grey alley. with my grey cat. being a grey person. yes. me and my cat are grey. now and then my cat and i will mumble a grey, "hello." to the fellow color white. 

i wear the grey socks, and hair. i will cry my grey tears and my grey blood. i have those grey numb eyes, that win all games. my grey pride and hopes become a nuisance. my grey newspaper and my grey mail box, my grey dust, my grey skin. my grey new years night, my grey stars, my grey glasses, my grey book. we're all grey. together this world will turn grey. 

the grey boys and girls will live their grey lives and have their grey children. with their grey breakfast and their grey church house. with their grey nose. 

i lay in my grey grey bed. and stare up into my white ceiling. "i want to paint you grey." i whisper. i lift my grey body off the floor and whimper. "so much grey."

i have too much of a grey soul. however, there is a little blue-grey smudge right were my heart should be. 

rather than smearing that smudge into my skin, i paint it over with grey. 

forever we will be grey. living in this grey bitter world. 

with my sister standing by, we pick our grey fruit, out of our grey orchard. 

goodnight world.

sleep bad. 

Sarah janelle.