during the young nights, i would gaze upon my soul. and search it, only finding empty journals and gray cats. quite often, the further i searched, the more i hurt. the more i was confused. the more i would stumble upon the truth. and dark rooms. the truth would swim in the deep end of my soul. never in the shallow. often, i would have to rescue the truth, from drowning, over and over. until. one day. i made a silent vow, to never, deeply, soul search. i tied the truth to a brick. clutching the truth, letting the brick drag, i threw him. i threw the truth into the deep end. with a final heartbreak, the truth drowned. and sunk.
it stayed, buried in water, breathing itself in and out, and i thought, the truth would stay there for forever.
but i broke my silent vow.
...
.
i opened my heart, climbed inside. found my soul. and accepted a tour.. the truth learned to swim. and was floating at the top. shuttering. i left it there while the memories cried. the heart ache and pain i have caused, made me feel impaired. blood and the smell of death, filled my soul. and i felt like a fool. my soul is worn down, and has a stench. outside in black letters, it states, foreclosed. the metal has rusted and the water has rotted. my eyes filled with salty tears, for i knew. what i had done. the time for change. has arrived. and the anxiety that comes with it. has begun.
i never wrote a letter to my home.
sarah.
