I had something beautiful planned to write for you; but none of that matters now.
And interestingly enough, I know you don't love me; Hell, you've never loved me.
You've never blinked twice about me.
But I'm still going on watching you and biting my nails when I think about kissing you. and most of the time I'm not this straight forward but I'm scared you've forgotten everything I told you.
and I'm afraid I've forgotten everything you said in reply.
but I keep shrugging and blowing that smoke and tar into the air wondering about the night sky and the virgin Mary; along with the non-sense I call poetry. Even though I know the only time I've ever written poetry is when I'm crying.
But I never care to write that sad thing down.
And now that everything has fallen apart and my fingers are twisted into knots over you; I still think about how we met in December; and about how everyone wants to meet in December so they can have something romantic to their name.
I say that's all damned.
And everything is so confusing and I'm feeling so anxious about my poorly thought-out future and about how the days are getting hot.
and how my cheeks turn pink.
and how I can't eat.
I can't sleep.
I can't think.
I can't find a job either..
and how I cut my hair again.
short.
and how this day is hard as Hell.
-------------------------------
It was because all her raw flesh
had disappeared.
and because she had played all
the mind games, after drinking
the alcohol and the bottle was
strung around her neck; like a
trophy she had received.
She was drunk with damnation.
and she appeared as she felt.
She was Hell.
Her eyes painted black and her
cheeks rosed with reverence.
The bones in her fingers
turned away and shied in
the dark.
Her hair, white with
intelligence, mad as her mind.
Significance meant nothing.
Her lips and personality, both,
stolen and scarred with stereotypes.
Tell me love?
-she asked herself.
Are you as beautiful as you feel?
Cradling the whiskey and the sex
she nodded.
She knew she was beautiful;
and that was all that mattered.
I'm tired and terrible.
-sarah.
xxoxoo
