oh the irony of this all. you think you're oh so clever. calling me a game. coming up with some cute girly way of killing me. well played. well played. but while i stand here in the tears and discomforts, you can walk away. fine. walk far far way. walk so far until you only appear as a dot in my eyes. and then, i will call you a game. and leave you in tears. 

day after day you pushed me to my edge. and i would call after you, "you're sure this is safe?" you would nod and smirk. you played me so well. you almost convinced me you cared. almost. step by step i trusted you, closer and closer to the edge i got. i would call after you, "this far?   ,,  this far? ,,  THIS far?" until i fell. and my trust was left at the top.

you got me. good one. good one. this is very cute and funny. not only did you play my "game." you won. you're the last one standing. while i beg for the observers for some help. "please anyone, please." they wince and cry, but not for me. for you. you've already cast your spell and fooled them all. not me. i know you better. but you won't tell me the strategy you used. instead, you shake my hand and under your grin you say, "good game." 

i like you. i do. 

i have just been hurt. and hurt is hard. and painful. and hard. 

almost too hard to forget. almost always.

i like you. and your face, and your personality. i like your little hands, and how you always are the last to hang up the phone. how you are honest and brave. and your voice. yes. that too. i like your voice. i like your smile, and the bows that are always in your hair. but have i fallen in love with something fake? its easier to be fake. i know that. but is it better to be fake? 

perhaps we are too much the same. perhaps we have lived too hard of lives. perhaps we are too mean. and fake. 

i will return the ring. the one i bragged about to everyone that would listen. i would say, "hey. my pal made this, cool huh?"  i will return that. oh, yes. and the button. i will just remove that from my favorite shirt, it was the closest i ever got to New York. oh and of course the sticky note that has a picture of a cat that. you one time drew for me. you want that too? ok. oh, how could i have forgotten. you want that one project that you worked really long and hard on, you want that back too? alright. you earned it. you may as well have me. but its not like you want me. that's okay though. 

i tried. right? right? 

right? 

you win. good game. 

Sarah janelle.