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5.28.2012

you know, i already know.





In the Desert
By Stephen Crane
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter—bitter,” he answered;


“But I like it
“Because it is bitter,
“And because it is my heart.”


i am a terrible human. and i know it. no worries everyone, i know. there's no need to tell me, because i know, unless you just want to remind me and because i probably deserve it, then yes, you can tell me. and i promise i won't even scream at you. ok everyone? i know it. i think babies are.. grotesque. and i don't really like them. i will always be the one to point out your faults. and i will probably be a hypocrite and laugh at you. i will probably maybe even flip you off underneath my desk because you keep raising your hand and answering all the math questions and then you will mumble under your breath, "that's so easy." yes, i will probably flip you off for that. or just because your dumb. i will also doubt you. because how am i supposed to trust you when you telling me how to live my life. you know? i will also most likely say very inappropriate things to you, when you can't actually hear me. i will probably say something along the lines of, "you suck balls." and that's naughty to say. but i will still say it to you. i will fake be your friend. and laugh at your same stupid stories you tell, even though inside i just want to take apart a brick house and throw the bricks at you, and then i will be mad because you will probably sue me in order to pay for your plastic surgery that you now need. i will probably flirt with your best friend, just so i can get you to feel some type of emotion towards me. (i am the worst.) sometimes i may fantasize about grating your face off. with a cheese grater. Probably i will laugh at your name, because it's sounds stupid. and i don't like it. i know i will roll my grey eyes at you. and try not to loose all my self control. probably i will pretend that my phone is dead, even though i just took out the battery, or i just didn't answer it, just so i can prove to you that i don't actually need or even like you. i'm going to say no a lot to you. that's my favorite word. im going to sluff class, just so i don't have to smile at you. because i fully believe you don't deserve seeing me smile at you. because once again, i barely even like you. but can't you cut me some slack? i mean, if you were me, wouldn't you hate it too? 
are these things i do to you, or just things i wish i could do to myself? 

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